Why Prove Myself? (Part II-The Lost Journal)
(This is another post from a Journal I found from some of my self work several years ago).
What is it inside us that tells us we have to “prove ourself” to others? What is it that warns us that we “just aren’t enough the way we are”? Fascinating questions–ones I ask myself (since I’m a bit afflicted with this condition).
We Are Enough.
My life coach says we all have a basic question, “Will my life matter when I’m gone?” WOW! That’s a bit too deep for this post, but when you think about it, that very question is at the root of why our behavior becomes “prove-myself-behavior.”
In our work with sales people, who I find to be massively afflicted with this condition, I find that we are all starved to be thought of as “credible.” Yet, the prospect cares a lot less about you than they do about their own struggles and pains (a lot less!).
And if you move into that space of “how can I get them to see my value?” then you’ll move away from where you should be, “how can I contribute value by solving their problems?”
So in a sick sort of way, when you are more interested in proving yourself (how smart you are–how great your product is–how valuable your company is) then you do a major disservice to your prospect–you’ve closed up space for him/her to tell you about their issues.
The very thing you’re working toward — a sale — slips away because your intent drifted from the prospect to your ‘self.’
So when you have this feeling that you aren’t enough the way you are, stop and think about your customer and their issues. And focus on those.
Right on target, Bill. Here’s what baffles me. Why is it that sales managers who “get” that their reps need to focus on the customer, not their own needs still foster cultures in their own sales organization where “it’s all about me” is the norm? It’s all about MY commission, MY territory, MY deal. If they expect their reps to have a bigger view in the field, they need to build a culture with a bigger view.
One of my current clients (VP of sales in a tech company) has a good spin on this. Whenever he sends out emails to the field, there is almost always something about doing for others. A report on a sales rep who volunteers in a local school or an invitation to participate in a “Hands on Housing” type initiative, etc. These little reminders don’t take much time or airspace but they do counteract the standard sales culture of “it’s all about me.”
Sales leaders and exec’s need to find a way to help sales reps hold a bigger view of their job. Then it’s easier to remember that the sales call is all about the prospect.
To see what Sam Decker (BazaarVoice) has to say about getting “customer centricity” into the DNA of the organization, take a look at my blog interview with him – http://www.fordbusinessconsulting.com/2006/05/sam-decker-bazaarvoice-on-customer.html