What Happens When Neediness Permeates Everything You Do?

Are you desperate for results?  Do you really need a sale to feel good about yourself?

When we ask those questions in our sales programs, we get a resounding “NO!!!”  But the fact is, that when you listen to most people’s sales pitch and sales process, it is threaded with an element of neediness and desperation throughout.

It’s not the sort of neediness that’s exhibited by begging.  It’s much more subtle than that.

It’s that time during a presentation when you say, “So what do you think?”  Or that time at the very beginning of the process when you fail to plant your feet on solid ground and instead, follow the customer’s process and do so gladly because you think the odds will increase of you making the sale.

Here are three things you can do immediately to end the pitiful approach of neediness:

1. Want nothing.

The more “want” you have in the process, the more likely you are to slip and sound needy.  (Actually, you don’t just “sound” needy, you are needy.)  We say in our work, the only selling that should be happening in the sales cycle is the prospect selling you on why they have a problem that they need solved.

The idea of you selling them is antiquated.

2. Stay detached.

In my book, Same Game New Rules, I devote a chapter to it called “Detachment Increases Power”. I mention:

“Unfortunately, detachment and the ability to let go are not natural characteristics in any of us.  From the time we were kids, we were taught to hang on to what we had….”

Amateur salespeople always tend to have their eye on the prize – the order – the close – the commission.  But as long as you’re focused on that end result (your prize), the less apt you are to be detached during the cycle and therefore, the less power you have.

Why are we always the ones squirming?  You would think if we really believed in our solution the way we say we do, it would be the prospect squirming because they may not get access to it.  But that’s not the way it usually is.

3. A REAL Belief in Your Value.

There are two faces to this thing that we talk a lot about called “value”.  One is the product or service representation of value.  That might be the results that a customer can expect to see as a result of using your service or the distinguishing characteristics that make your product truly unique.

But there’s also another phase of value and that is your value.  Yes, as a sales professional or as a technical resource or as a subject matter expert.  This is the one that we take for granted and rarely work on and yet, this is the exact one that will make it easy for you to distinguish yourself from the pack. 

What are you doing to bring value to the relationship, not through your product or service, but through you?

Neediness is deadly.  When exhibited at the wrong time, it can turn a perfect sales process into a loss.

The instant you become needy, the prospect gets uncomfortable because deep down, their lizard brain is asking themselves, “Why should I buy from him if he seems so needy?  There seems to be danger here.” And there might be.

So lose the neediness and desperation.  Really lose it and watch your control of the sales process increase.

2 replies
  1. Greg
    Greg says:

    I love that your message is consistently the same and I love that you constantly remind me of this and it makes TOTAL sense to me, thanks for these great posts. I look forward to them each time.

  2. Lizreinking
    Lizreinking says:

    Me,too! Having a tough year and it is hard not to feel needy, but when I am confident things seem to work out just great! Gotta get “hooked on a feelin”…O.K. so, it is not the Beasty Boys, but from my era!

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