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Are you trading statements or making conversations?

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The other night I was at a dinner party with a handful of people and noticed an interesting dynamic. There was one gentleman there who was dominating the discussion. He would never ask anybody else a question – but would always have comments and opinions on what others said.

Conversation

As I’ve said before these kinds of people are what I call “reporters.” They aren’t really curious about what you think or what’s going on in your life or what your goals are. They are only wanting to comment on the world. They report to us.

What I noticed is that after 30 minutes, everyone else stopped making true conversation at the table. This was a group of business executives who typically ask each other questions and are curious about how to do things better.

But this one person had so poisoned the well that everyone at the table was doing nothing but reporting, bragging, and one-upsmanship.

I’ve also seen this happen in one-to-one discussions I’ve had with people where others really aren’t curious about knowing who you are and what you’re up to They are more focused on their own pains, strife and suffering – and want to make sure you know all about it.

That is not a conversation. 

When you get into dialogue with these people you realize quickly that your thoughts don’t matter. That your goals don’t matter. In a way, your life doesn’t matter. What matters to them is that they’re getting their point across.

These people suck your energy. Unless they’re family members, they aren’t worth being around.  If I want to be at my best, I need to surround myself with people who inspire me to be at my best – and who I inspire to be at theirs.

So the next time you’re having a “conversation” with someone, test to see if it’s really a conversation or if you’re just trading statements with them. Seek out those people who you can have intelligent two-way dialogue with. If you find yourself asking all the questions about them and they’re asking nothing about you, run quickly.

Don’t Call on Them Until You Know How To Talk to Them

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Not a day goes by in our sales training and coaching business that a client doesn’t approach us with this question, “How do I get to the CEO?” I heard that very question yesterday from a brand new client who sells technology services – traditionally calling on IT managers and CIOs.

Five years ago my advice would have been to craft the message that you wanted to communicate, network to that person, then make a cold call. But I think now all of that is premature.

Because unless you are speaking the language of the CEO – CIO – CMO – C00 – then you will waste your time – and theirs – in making that call.

So my advice to my clients is this: Read more

Do Project Managers Need Sales Training, Too?

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(If you don’t have Project Managers in your firm–and instead, have Customer Service agents or Technicians, then substitute that title for PMs)

Well of course, you know the answer to that question before we start.

But I’d like to share some observations that may make it easier for you to train your PM’s in communication skills. It seems that companies are relying more and more on their PM’s to manage the client relationships and generate referrals so this topic might be relevant for your firm.

One chapter in Same Game New Rules is titled Process Makes Perfect, and it’s about how engineers and technical sellers make the best sales people. Mainly because they are in the right place to bring tons of value.

1. Need for Good Communication. In most projects, there are many tiny details that can spin out of control. Since the relationship is only as good as the project process, then it is necessary for PM’s to know how to communicate issues to clients. The PM must have a “relationship awareness” all the way through.

This includes: bringing up sensitive topics PRIOR to them becoming problems; knowing how and to whom to communicate these issues at the client; knowing how to keep the atmosphere open and honest so bad matters don’t get worse; and having a paper stream of promises so that there is nothing left to memory.

2. Having a Problem-Solving Attitude. I like to think of selling as problem-solving. And nowhere does that get stated like it does in project management. The PM is always solving problems and keeping things on course. It may be that they don’t want to be in front line sales (and they shouldn’t) but it doesn’t mean that they can’t have the same attitude that the top flight sales person has.

3. Referral Generation. Most times, the PM is the exact person who should be cultivating referrals. In most B2B businesses, referrals make up 60-80% of new business. It’s a bit of a stretch to think that a sales person who sold the deal, but does NOT have the relationship, can waltz in and get referrals. It should be the PM. So any training you do for that group, should have ‘how to generate referrals’ as part of the curriculum.

Fewer Sales People-More PMs
Many companies are hiring fewer new account sales people, and relying on their subject matter experts (the PMs) to do more of the value communication. I think it makes sense in certain industries. Just make sure you train those people on the principles of selling and good communication. They ARE trainable. Just don’t try to turn them into sales people.