What Your Coach Should Be Doing For You

It used to be that personal coaches were the luxury of the rich and famous – leaders of companies – celebrities – extremely high income earners. But not so much anymore.

And if you’re in the market for a coach, here are 10 items to consider as you search for that coach or mentor.

By the way, as a professional coach, I have a dog in this hunt. Meaning, I see plenty of coaches that are of no help to people. They might have their accreditation, but they have no process to really get the best out of people.  (I use “he” although I realize great coaches can be “she’s” too.) So here goes:

1.  Tells us the truth. How often do we hear the truth? People are fragile and we know that. So, if we get to coach someone, formally or informally, we’ll hold back. A great coach NEVER holds back.

2. Inquire As To Our Potential.  I love the definition of Mental Health: “Has a keen awareness of our capabilities and possibilities…” Hell, if that’s the definition of mental health, we’re all mentally ill. How many of us really have a “keen awareness” of that? But a coach can help here. Great coaches inquire of you as to your potential. And they don’t let you get away with mediocre. They help you explore your dreams.

3. Hold Us Accountable.   In our perfect world, we would not need this. But we do. Great athletes have coaches. As do great stage performers. And they demand excellence.

4. Directs Us When Uncertain. We have uncertain phases in life. Where we need (often badly) someone to listen to us…to help us work something out,  a coach acts as our director. They are not controlling. They are directors.

5. Help Us Assemble The Plan.  Nothing great happens to you without a plan. Yes, you can work out your plan on your own. But it sure helps to have another set of eyes on it, asking you, challenging you, confirming you.

6. Remind Us of Our Vast Potential. Once we get in touch with our true potential, the world pulls us back. And we let it. We must surround ourselves with people who remind us of our vastness. It’s often not our friends, our parents or our spouses. Too bad it isn’t. But it isn’t.

7. Sees Something In You That You Don’t See In Yourself. Have you ever seen great potential in someone else? Has anyone ever seen it in you? I don’t find that many of us have had that experience. Isn’t that weird? Our parents serve that role early in life. But what about when we’re 30? Or 40? I believe that’s where we need it the most!

8.  Acts As a Success Agent.   He introduces you to others who can be on your “A” team. Every great performer has a team of people behind them. They might have a financial person, a coach, an accountant, a personal valet, a wardrobe consultant. You might think this isn’t for you. I’m not talking about a full time “wardrobe consultant.” I’m speaking of having someone in your life, that you pay, to handle the things you’re trained to handle. Your coach should introduce you to that team.

9. Encourages Us to Keep Stretching. Stretching to new levels is hard work. It’s quite tempting to default to “average.” When we don’t have the physical energy, we say, “That’s enough for today.” Your coach should provide a constant stream of encouragement at those moments where you are apt to relax. One more pushup. One more press. One more lap. One more rep.

10. Unconditionally Supports Us.  I believe that the key to unimaginable success is “unconditional self-acceptance.” But how often do we get that from someone else? Pick a coach who is so OK in their own skin that unconditional support is easy.

Help? What experience have you had in coaching relationships? If you want to speak personally about coaching for you in 2015, I have some openings – 5 to be exact. Shoot me an email at [email protected].

If you already have a coach, use this as a checklist to make sure he’s serving you appropriately.