The Bittersweetness of Sending Your Baby To College

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I don’t normally use this blog for this kind of personal revelations but the fact is I’m hurting today.

Because it’s the day that I’ve been dreading for 18 years…the day I send my little girl, Kara, to college.

Yes, I know one 1.5 million other kids are going to college this fall and Bill Caskey is not alone in the void he’s fearing this will
leave in his life going forward. It’s just a fact of life…we birth them…we nourish them…we teach them…and we kick them out of the nest. It must be that way.

But it leaves me no less sad.

Why is it bitter?

In a weird way, even though they depend on you for nurturing, food, coaching and support, interestingly it’s you that depends on them as they grow older.

You depend on them for their enthusiasm – their humor – their energy for life – their mischievousness.

You depend upon them for feedback on how you’re doing as a parent.

You depend on them, in some odd way, to live out your unfinished business…or on things you feel like you missed when you were their age. (It’s one of those things no parent admits, but I’m afraid we all do it.)

Right about the time you see a glimpse of excellence, when they become older, more mature and can carry on conversations with you (and actually seem to care about some of the things you’re doing) you kick them out of the nest.

It’s bitter because of the void they leave.

Why is it sweet?

Because you get to see your creation, 18 years in the making, begin to make their mark in the world.

You see them interact with new people who will have an impact on their lives forever.

You observe them study things they want to, rather than things they have to.

You watch them make some tough life decisions that are impossible to train them for–until they must make them on their own.

It’s sweet because you remember you (38 years ago when I walked on the very same campus she’s walking on.) And I remember how important it was for me to begin a new life, independent of the parents raised me. I recall my excitement for this new era.

And it’s sweet because it’s “new chapters” all around. For them, for you, for their friends and the parents of their friends.

So for me, it’s in no way a broken heart because I’m so proud of the young lady she’s become.

It’s just a heart with a bit of a void in it for now. It will heal in time …. and likely become stronger because of it.

But for today, when my baby goes to college, I will cry.

 

There Is Bottom To Hit. And Wealth Awaits Those That Hit It

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Our strength grows out of our weakness. Out of resistance. This is a bit of Emerson (Law of Compensation) for the uninitiated. Emerson believed that it wasn’t until we were ‘pricked and sore‘ that we got busy changing our behavior. That we get stronger with resistance. And that to “sit on the cushion of advantage” means to go to sleep.  And when we’re asleep we’re not growing. We’re dying.

Don’t Get Sloppy At The Wrong Time Like This Woman

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Arrogance seems to be a sure predictor of coming loss. I once knew a lady who was in line for a big promotion. She had pretty much counted on it happening. So she went into the last interview and her arrogance shone thru. All the leaders in the room saw a side of her they hadn’t seen before and she was passed over.

Do you get cocky in the sales process?

Do you ever say to yourself, “This is a no-brainer”?

Or, “This is a slam dunk.”

That’s the last thing you’ll hear before the word “On second thought, we’re not interested.”

Is Work Ethic a Talent?

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Lou Holtz, a retired American football coach and an active sportscaster, was being interviewed on radio about bowl games, the NFL and football talent. He said something that I thought was profound; that he sees, “Work ethic as a talent.”

He said when he was selecting players for his college teams he was as interested in how hard they worked and how interested in improving they were (versus their raw, natural talent.)

I thought that was quite insightful as we leaders look for talent in our organizations.  Since our firm helps people select the right talent to bring into an organization and train on how to grow the talent once they get there, we find the same thing to be true—work ethic is a talent.

Work Ethic and Curiosity Is A Deadly Combination for Performance

One of my clients used to tell me that if he could find ten people with a great work ethic he would be able to build a world-class team.  His feeling on curiosity was that markets are changing so fast along with technology and customer demands that you must have a high curiosity factor if you are to find the problems customers have and learn new ways to produce better results for your companies.

3 Personality Traits That Can Determine Someone’s Work Ethic

We use the Hogan Assessment Report for selection and development.  It allows us, as trainers, to predict job performance.

Throughout our work, we’ve noticed there are three personality traits which indicate  how teachable, trainable and adaptable someone is:

1. Ambition.

Ambition is the degree to which a person has a full fuel tank and does not need artificial motivation to get them out of bed in the morning. They are wired to take initiative. Read more

Never Be Quick to Quote a Current Client

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Just as you wouldn’t be quick to quote a prospect—the same goes for your current account.

Many amateur sales people think that when a client calls and wants a quote on something that we are in service to them by emailing a quote with no process. Wrong. You owe your client the very basics of the sales process. Take them through the process.

“I’m happy to quote you. Can you tell me a little about where you are in the process and what you’re looking for?”

When someone makes the call to you asking for a quote, just remember they are 75% of the way down their process. That’s dangerous. Don’t get lazy and jump to the quote.

A Simple, Yet Rarely Used Question

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When a prospect is being painfully reserved and is not sharing much with you, sometimes the best thing you can say is:

“How is it that you’d like me to help you?” 

That one question has enormous power to it because the answer will determine whether that person actually is looking for your help or not.  You become an annoying sales person when you’re trying to help someone who doesn’t want it.

How To Get Ready For Executive Coaching

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If you’re a Caskey client and are ready to be coached, or are considering entering into a coaching engagement, this video shares 7 of the most pressing issues you should consider.

Bill reviews all 7 and gives you some additional tips so that you can be ready for personal growth in your coaching engagement.

A New Way To Look At Selling

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Many of our models in our world are broken, but it’s hard for us to reinvent any model unless we look closer at what it is now.

In this video, Bill Caskey explains how the old sales model of “convince and persuade” no longer works. He offers a new way to look at selling and gives one tip to help you get the power back in the sales cycle.

**This sales training video took place in Indianapolis, IN on 5/1/12 at the Caskey Refresher Seminar.

Price Resistance Might Have Nothing To Do With Price

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How you present things is how people see things.

A few weeks ago, a sales person came into our office and was pitching a new water system. They talked about the features and benefits of their offer, but NEVER asked me any questions about what I wanted.  And then I told them the price was too high.

If you’ve ever had a prospect say your price was too high, it could’ve been you forgot to ask the right questions.