Are you trading statements or making conversations?

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The other night I was at a dinner party with a handful of people and noticed an interesting dynamic. There was one gentleman there who was dominating the discussion. He would never ask anybody else a question – but would always have comments and opinions on what others said.

Conversation

As I’ve said before these kinds of people are what I call “reporters.” They aren’t really curious about what you think or what’s going on in your life or what your goals are. They are only wanting to comment on the world. They report to us.

What I noticed is that after 30 minutes, everyone else stopped making true conversation at the table. This was a group of business executives who typically ask each other questions and are curious about how to do things better.

But this one person had so poisoned the well that everyone at the table was doing nothing but reporting, bragging, and one-upsmanship.

I’ve also seen this happen in one-to-one discussions I’ve had with people where others really aren’t curious about knowing who you are and what you’re up to They are more focused on their own pains, strife and suffering – and want to make sure you know all about it.

That is not a conversation. 

When you get into dialogue with these people you realize quickly that your thoughts don’t matter. That your goals don’t matter. In a way, your life doesn’t matter. What matters to them is that they’re getting their point across.

These people suck your energy. Unless they’re family members, they aren’t worth being around.  If I want to be at my best, I need to surround myself with people who inspire me to be at my best – and who I inspire to be at theirs.

So the next time you’re having a “conversation” with someone, test to see if it’s really a conversation or if you’re just trading statements with them. Seek out those people who you can have intelligent two-way dialogue with. If you find yourself asking all the questions about them and they’re asking nothing about you, run quickly.

What You Can Learn About Achievement From The Stacey Dash Interview?

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Recently, Stacey Dash (unknown to me until I saw this and researched her) was on Meredith Vieria. Personally, I don’t watch Vieria mainly because of the tact she took in this “interview.” The video is below.  Watch it, then come back and read on.

I love this girl! Unafraid to speak on a hot, controversial issue, and speak her truth.

I hear this all the time: “My territory isn’t large enough.” “My compensation plan isn’t fair enough.” “People don’t answer the phone like they used to.” “Prospects lie.” “I can’t get referrals anymore.” My company doesn’t invest in me.” “My company has no vision.”

All of these statements (and Meredith’s unbelievably arrogant questions) are perfect examples of our buy-in to a victim mentality. And it wears us out. Actually, it renders us unable to adopt a stance of personal empowerment.
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Selling Yourself

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On this week’s audio blog, I’m going to challenge to do something different. I want you to spend some time selling yourself to yourself. Do you believe in your personal value? Do you believe in the product you are selling? If you don’t, it will come across to your prospects.
 

Ability VS. Capability

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Ability and Capability are typical used synonymously but they do have one big difference. Capability is the future, is a person capable of doing more than what they are doing now? We need to spend more time on Capability and what we are Capable of doing.
 

The Problem With Idea Generation – And a Solution

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More ideas are not better. I know there is a saying, “If you want to come up with a great idea, come up with lots of ideas.”

Ideas

But I see Presidents and Salespeople generate idea after idea – and yet have little to show for them. So what happens. Here’s my take.

My sense is that the person that has the idea (the creator) is seldom the person who will implement the idea and bring it to profit. I didn’t say “never,” I said seldom.

So the idea-creator needs to have either a) someone around him/her who can flesh out the idea before investing too much time dreaming about it. Or, b) a system that walks them through the ‘fleshing out’ process. Read more

Fear Gets In The Way Of Intention

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Do you ever feel self-conscious during a call with a prospect? When that fear creeps in all your prior intentions go right out the window. If you are focused on yourself, you are focused on the wrong person. You are there to help them solve their burdens. When you are fearful, it keeps them from getting the solution they really need.

When You Don’t Feel Like You Matter, Do This

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That’s the number one question we ask ourselves silently, isn’t it? Do I matter? Sometimes we ask it as in ‘Does my life matter?’ More often, its circumstantial. “Do I matter in this particular area of life?”

EVEN-THE-SMALLEST,-WEAKEST,-MOST

I received an email from a blog reader this week that was most touching. Here is an excerpt:

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Bill,

Thanks for all the content publishing you do. It really helps. 

I took a job last year as a sales person for a highly technical service. And I’m lost. I don’t feel like my expertise can measure up to my client’s expertise in what I’m selling. And I don’t think it ever will.  

I’m thinking about changing professions. Either get out of sales. Or get out of this industry. I just don’t feel like I matter much when I’m calling on these high-powered doctors. 

What should I do?

Becca,

San Francisco, CA

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It struck a nerve with me. How often have I felt like my work doesn’t matter? Lots. Read more

A Common Enemy

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Do you and your prospect share a common enemy? The enemy could be mediocrity, averageness, or even a competitor. But, when you figure out who that common enemy is, you’ll become a united force battling it together.

The Perfect Agenda For A Half-Day Sales Training

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Yes, I know, I’m giving away something that I typically charge for, but here’s why I’m doing it: I am inundated with blog readers (sales people) sending me their frustrations with the sales meetings and sales training they sit through. I can only hear that so much before it wears me down.

You see, I was a part of a sales team at one time. And I wish my leaders would have given me a chance to participate in the type of meeting that I’m giving to you.

This is an actual agenda from a 1/2 day event I was paid a fair sum to do for a company a week ago. I thought you’d like to see it and send it on to your leader or use it yourself.

Enjoy.

DownloadTheAgenda